Flashback Fridays

"Land Down Under" by Men At Work

Welcome Home Maestro!

Maestro's homecoming

is bittersweet; there goes my

blog material.

Thanks to CT for the 17 syllable style inspiration.

Letters Home from Boot Camp

Dear Ma and Paw,

Hey you non-conformists. Not to sound too harsh, but you know what I've learned here? That it is really you two who lack discipline. I'm pretty sure your permissive parenting is what got me into this situation in the first place. Personally I think I should have stayed home while you spent the past 3 weeks down here. Hopefully when I do return, my good behavior will rub off on you.

I have really adapted to the lifestyle around here. The only thing I refused to do was shave my head, and the drill sergeant hasn't taken too kindly to this minor rebellion. Regardless, there is a camaraderie here that cannot be matched. I've begun to identify with my captor, and honestly I'm not sure that I want to go home tomorrow. It's going to be booooooring.

Today I'm packing my bags and saying some goodbyes. Tonight we'll celebrate. Got to go mom. I am so tired and I still have to iron my boots.

Over and out,

Lost Tuesdays

Oh noes!! Flocke has gotten his hands on the Maestro! In an effort to secure his allegiance and bring him over to the dark side, the Maestro has been promised a future with the love of his life, Ava. Will he take the bait? Tune in tonight at 8pm to see how this saga unfolds.

Monday Maestro Musings

"We sleep with both legs outstretched, free of the true, free of the false."

-from the Zenrin Kushu

Flashback Fridays

"Too Shy" by Kajagoogoo

The Mouth of Truth

La Bocca della Verita (in English, the Mouth of Truth), is an image carved from marble of a man-like face, located in the portico of the church of Santa Maria in Cosmedin in Rome, Italy. It is thought to be from the first century. Legend holds that since the Middle Ages, it was believed that if one told a lie with their hand in the mouth of the sculpture, it would be bitten off.

The Maestronian Mouth of Truth is a live beast from the Canis genus, located in the southern region of Minneapolis. He dates back to early 2009 and functions much in the same capacity as his sculptural ancestor in Rome. In his role as a lie detector, one must place one's hand within his mouth while speaking under oath, and the Mouth of Maestro will determine your malefaction.

Happy Birthday Zig!

Maestro extends a warm birthday greeting to his very special pal Ziggy, who is turning 3 today!

Yes, he's very special indeed.

PS - Get off my cushion.

Love, Maestro

Letters Home from Boot Camp

Dear Ma and Paw,

The last 10 days have been absolutely grueling. I got in BIG trouble for being 'lippy'. Seems to be a capital offense around here. Geez, I'm just trying to speak my mind, and I am immediately silenced. No room for democracy or dissent in this place.

On the bright side though, I've discovered an insider secret. Any time I do what The Man says, I get a bite size hot dog! Ha, what a sucker. We did this for over an hour yesterday. I ran around his stupid pen, jumped through his lame obstacle course, sat still for over a minute, and each time I got a hot dog. Can you believe it? I have him so fooled. I plan to spend the rest of my time here scamming hot dogs.

There's a rumor going around the barn that you called to check up on me. I don't believe it, because if you called, surely you would have asked to talk to me directly. You can't believe anything The Man says, because he always puts a spin on it. None of us can make him happy, except maybe his precious K-9 cops in training. Those guys think they are soooo special. Whatever, they are all jealous of my good looks. They could never grow a coat like this, and their tails look pretty stupid if you ask me.

When are you coming back for me? Shouldn't there be a care package coming my way? Please include extra brownies. They were a hit around here.

Affectionately yours,

M

4/20

Mmm, brownies.

Monday Maestro Musings

“I guess I should warn you, if I turn out to be particularly clear, you've probably misunderstood what I've said”

-The seldomly amusing and way less interesting Maestro

Flashback Fridays

"(I Just) Died in Your Arms Tonight" by Cutting Crew

Thursday Tax Day

It's that magical time of the year again. Luckily, Maestro P. Gunderson sat down with his CPA tax accountant weeks ago to hash out the details. After several failed business attempts, bad investments, and financial fears of upcoming funemployment, it was starting to look like a bad year for the Maestro. Where would he ever get the money to pay for all of this? As a family, we banded together, pooled our resources, changed future plans, and lost a lot of sleep over this. It was only after all that effort that we remembered he's just a dog and doesn't owe the government a penny. Wah wah.

Letters Home from Boot Camp

Week 1

Dear Ma and Paw,

I'm so bored. The food here is terrible. At night I'm kept in a barn with a bunch of cocky German Shepherds and a really obnoxious hyperactive Pomeranian is my bed-wetting crib mate. Sigh. I long for the green pastures of your 20 x20 ft backyard. The squirrels on the neighbors trash pile were so abundant. I'm out here in no man's land with nothing to herd and no neighborhood brats to keep an eye on.

The training is hard and I'm lazy. What ever happened to sleeping for 8 hours during the daytime? Now its all work work work, yell yell yell. As you know, I don't like to listen. Well, I'll listen, but then I do my own thing. Talking back gets me nowhere around here. Not like when I'm home with you guys and you give in and let me put my paws up on the bed or couch anyway.


They are trying the 'break me down to build me back up' routine, but I am resisting so far. Ma always sings my praises, so I'm a spoiled little pup and their words can't hurt me. I know I'm the most special pup who ever lived, and my intelligence is matched by no other. I shouldn't even be here.

Well, the training whistle is blowing. Time to go resist The Man. Miss you guys.


With great fondness,

M

Lost Tuesdays

The Black Smoke sound bite  Television sound bites

Monday Maestro Musings

“We go to a book as Narcissus went to the fountain, see ourselves therein, and are enamored.”

-Unknown

Flashback Fridays

"Never Tear Us Apart" by INXS

Deployment Thursday

No April Fools this time. Maestro is shipping off to puppy boot camp. For realz!

For the next 3 weeks, Maestro will be enjoying a strange mixture of puppy paradise and pure hell in lovely, scenic St. Peter, MN. He'll be whipped into shape with the best of them.

We've said our goodbyes. I already had a false Maestro sighting tonight while at the gas station. How will we ever pull through this difficult time?

Be brave, little fur man. Just because I started a mad cleaning session the moment you left doesn't mean we won't miss you.

We support your Maestro Mission!

Where's Maestro? Part II

For those who may have found yesterday's exercise a bit difficult, I present an alternative challenge.

Where's Maestro?

Can you find Maestro? Click on the photo for more detail.

Monday Maestro Musings

"After enlightenment, the laundry."

-Zen Proverb

Flashback Fridays (Easter Edition)

Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNA

April Fools Fail

Well clearly no one thought I was serious. Or equally plausible, no one was reading this blog. As the OKG stated wisely, I would rather lose my right arm than give up Maestro.

Bad News Thursday

Well, the news is official that I am allergic to dogs. Therefore we can no longer keep Maestro. At least he's only been with us for a year, so I haven't grown too attached to him and hopefully I will forget about him soon enough. We feel it would be too painful to keep him any longer and go through the process of finding him a 'good' home, so we are shipping him off to the Aussie Rescue service. Hopefully someone will claim him soon. If not, he will end up in the pound most likely. I'd rather not know what will happen to him. But I guess no home is better than keeping him in our home where he makes me sneeze all the time. Goodbye Maestro. We'll miss you.